Hey mama, are you an overwhelmed mom?
Motherhood is the most beautiful gift in the world but it also entails some of the hardest days of my life.
Parenting fills our days with busy.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, breaking up sibling arguments, planning activities, more cooking, more cleaning. REPEAT.
It is very easy to become an overwhelmed mom with all that motherhood throws at us.
And if we are not careful it is very easy for an overwhelmed mom to turn into a resentful mom.
A few years ago I was super overwhelmed as a mom. I was a new foster parent and I was parenting 4 kids 4 and under. The house was always a mess, the sink was always full, I gained a ton of weight and I had no time or desire to be with my husband at the end of the day.
This post contains affiliate links. Full disclosure here.
All I wanted was some peace and quiet. I started staying up really late just to get some alone time to do what I wanted to do without tiny limbs climbing all over me.
This led to being super tired the next day and my feelings of overwhelm just rose.
I started getting really impatient and snappy with my kids and turning into a mom I didn’t want to be.
I didn’t think it would ever be this way. This was not the motherhood I envisioned.
After losing our first child to miscarriage I promised myself that when I did become a mom I would be grateful every day. 4 kids and 4 years later, I was wondering where that person went.
I knew I NEEDED to change. I didn’t want to be an overwhelmed resentful mother and wife.
The issue? My heart. I was being selfish in every way. I was focusing on all the bad and not the good. I was staying up too late making myself tired and running on this visious cycle of sleep loss impatience.
I wasn’t remembering all the sweet and the good things my kids and husband did for me that day.
I wasn’t being proactive about getting a good start to the morning so my day would be easier to fill with productivity and patience.
I wasn’t starting my day with the Lord and allowing the blessings of that action to flow.
I was staying up late binge watching netflix, eating chips and ordering things I didn’t need off amazon to try and get some midnight retail therapy in.
This problem is not unique to me. Moms everywhere get caught up in the constant business of millennial #momlife. Then turn to unhealthy options and things that leave them a super overwhelmed mom.
There are still some days where I feel overwhelmed as a mom now. But most days I’m really grateful for motherhood.
I put a few practices in and I know they can help you too!
Moms everywhere skip sleep for alone time. When we are already in the thick of parenting littles who wake in the night we need to fight for the good sleep when we can get it.
Go to bed early, take a nap, stop watching Netflix. Have a night time routine and stick to it, wind down with a shower or bath, rub lotion on and do proper skincare, use lavender essential oils, heck I even started to take melatonin on days I couldn’t fall asleep. Get rid of the screens an hour before bed, read before bed, make sure to work out so your body is tired and ready for sleep.
WAKE UP BEFORE YOUR KIDS
This has been a life changing practice for me and when I ensure that I do this my day is ALWAYS better. It doesn’t matter if it’s only 15 minutes, that quick alone time to start your day with a coffee and the Bible is life giving. I try to get up at 5am most days and it took me a really long time to switch from being a night owl to a morning personn Sometimes I still let myself sleep in til 6 or 7 (my kids wake around 7:30) but my day is always 1000% percent better when I wake up at 5am
DON’T LET YOUR MARRIAGE COME AFTER YOUR KIDS
I tell my kids all the time that they are my third priority. God first, my husband second and then them. I have made too many mistakes where I didn’t put my marriage before my kids. Everything is better when your husband and you are on the same page. He will be more helpful, loving and self sacrificing to you when he doesn’t feel like he is on the back burner or at the end of your list of priorities.
In saying that, kids tend to need priority sometimes. I mean of course they are in need of a parent to help them grow but don’t let your excuse of being tired or “done for the day” be a reason to ignore your husband. A good marriage means your husband will know when you need a break, he will take the kids and give you some alone time and he will do the dishes almost every night. (My husband is the best)
Just remember he comes before your kids one day they will be grown and gone and it will just be the two of you. Don’t let yourself get so disconnected in the parenting of littles years that you have no connection at all once they are gone. Go on date nights, talk and pray with each other regularly, have more sex, flirt, let him know you are thinking about him during the day.
Lastly but most importantly
PRAY AND SPEND TIME WITH THE LORD
I was going to put this first on the list because it really is what made the biggest difference for me but I also know sometimes we need some more tangible advice and quick fixes. My spiritual life has grown immensely and when that happens you find true happiness and abundance in Christ. Your selfishness dies and your urge to live a purpose-filled life increases. Your heart changes because the Holy Spirit changes you.
So mama’s it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to be an overwhelmed mom. But it takes you being proactive in order to change it. It takes action. I highly encourage you to implement those 4 simple steps to prevent you or change you from being an overwhelmed mom.