Our biggest sphere of influence is right within the 4 walls of our homes. Sometimes we are so busy doing all the things we forget how important that home culture is in order to reflect gospel love to all those we come in contact with.
Studies show the things in our home directly impact our moods, more things means more overwhelm more to manage more to clean.
Overwhelm leads to living reactively instead of proactively. When we are in a reactive mode, our cortisol (stress hormone) levels are higher, we tend to be short and snappier with our spouse and children and we feel like we are on a never ending hamster wheel but not actually accomplishing anything. We find it very hard to rest because our minds are so overwhelmed, its next to impossible to have true sabbath rest.
Overwhelm sucks and the environment and culture within our home directly affects our state of mind. Nothing positive comes when we are overwhelmed and distracted.
I want to thrive in my motherhood, and I bet you do too! I want to have a positive relationship with my husband and kids so that as a family unit we are better able to love God and love others and live our lives in light of the gospel. I bet you do too, it’s probably a reason you listen to a podcast like this. You need some help getting your family God focused and removing the distractions of the world.
One walk through a home shows what the family living there values…what would a walk through your home show others that you value? Technology? Comfort and relaxation? Hospitality? Order? Family? Gathering? Isolation? Kids?
I have another podcast about setting the intention in your home and this podcast goes hand in hand with that one. I will leave some related episodes linked in the show notes. Setting the intention for each room in your home will allow you to create a space that reflects your values. As a Christian family, our main value is living a life through the lens of the gospel, so in every room and in all of our interactions I want that to be reflected.
I want my kids and husband to feel that between these walls the grace runs thick, and that love is abounding, I want these walls to be a safe haven for kids who need just that. I want the table to be filled of memories of joy and laughter, togetherness and unity.
I also want my home to be in a welcoming state always. Welcome to all, especially kids but clean, and light and airy and with room to breathe and relax and meditate on God’s goodness.
I don’t want to see signs of consumerism in every corner. I want to see space. Space for God to do His work in my life and in my home.
I want the media in my home to be intentional. The things we listen to and the things we watch need to be God honoring or useful/educational.
Family worship and devotionals are a big part of our family. Whether it’s reading scripture cards and questions at the table, devotionals before bed, prayers before meals and in conflicts and thanksgiving.
Men have a huge influence as the head of our families. My husband reading the Bible aloud or watching a cartoon devotional on youtube with the kids has a huge impact on them.
Our children need to know they are loved, seen, and known. They are valued and cherished. They are not a nuisance or a burden.
Our kids need to know they can rely on us but even more importantly that we will not be able to meet their every need, we have to point them to know the only One who can. We need to teach them to rely on the Lord in all things. He will give them guidance and direction, sometimes that is through us as their parents and sometimes that is done in other ways
Our children need to learn hard work and hard rest. Time for service and time for sabbath.
All of these small but intentional things we do as parents will create a chain link that binds our family together. And like it says in verse about 3 strand cord is not easy to break. When we partner faithful parenting, and responsible stewardship, with Christ as our focus we have a family chain or culture of great strength, steeped in love, joy, grace, togetherness and service.
We are bonded as a family unit on mission for the Lord. And that all starts right within the 4 walls of our homes.
Let me leave you with some practical ways to implement a strong gospel focused family culture within your home.
Pray for and pray with your children often. Let them see your reliance on and respect for God. Don’t just teach them but show them in your own actions.
Spend individual time with your children, this is so important especially in big families. Remember your kids need to know they are seen, loved and known. Take interest in their interests, schedule time each week and even each day to spend individual time whether that’s one of them accompanying you to the store, a special ice cream date, a walk around the neighbourhood one on one after dinner. Try kid of the day, or kid of the week where each day or week your kids takes turns getting to make special decisions like what game we are going to play for family night, or what movie we get to watch or what we can do bless someone in our community. Not only does this promote fairness but it teaches respect and lessens fighting!
Try and eat dinner together every night. Make family dinner a sacred and special time. Talk about your day with each other, read scripture, ask questions, clean up together.
Teach your kids from a young age what it looks like to budget their money (tithe, save, spend) and their time. Teach them to do things for themselves and how to plan for the future.
Show them the importance of spiritual disciplines. My girls know every morning I start with God. they can either sit beside me and also be in their Bible quietly or they can keep themselves busy until I am done.
Have a consistent night time routine where you pray, do a devotional, sing worship, and just connect before bed. Talk things out, if forgiveness is needed from something that happened that day.
Build special family traditions and make them a big deal, these traditions will often be our kids fondest memories of their childhoods.
Find a way to serve together. Volunteering as a family shows your commitment to service as a family. It takes the focus of just ourselves and puts it onto how we can help others.
Be respectful and loving to your spouse. A good marriage blesses children. If you fight in front of them make sure they see you apologize. Work on your own weaknesses instead of pointing out your spouses. Interact in all ways with love and kindness to each other. This has a profound effect on our children’s future as a spouse and parent.
There are very few things that are harder than being a parent. But there are also very few things that bring as much joy as being a parent. Embrace your blessings and don’t see them as burdens. You have the choice to what your family culture will look like, I hope it is one of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.
I think a Christ centred home is one of love and joy. A home in order with space to serve and gather. A place where Christ is evident in the spiritual disciplines we have and the unity and bond we create as followers of Jesus.
I pray that your home is a place bathed in the light of Christ and all that is done within the walls and outside the walls as a family unit is a clear signal to others that something is different about your family. That you are set apart.
God gives us all the tools but we need to be intentional to implement them.
I hope you found this helpful and I would like to end in a prayer.
Father God we thank you for who you are and all you’ve done. We thank you that through the Bible and the Holy Spirit we have all we need to create a gospel focused family culture in our homes. I ask you to help each person listening today, to implement some of these things today, and to continue to build and grow a family culture reflecting the fruits of the Spirit and your greatest commandments that we love you Lord and that we love others. I want to lift up any worries and hurts in the marriages of those listening right now. We are flawed, broken people and we hurt others easily and often unintentionally. Help us Lord, to remember to lay down our life, pick up our cross and follow you. Help us remove selfishness, deceit, disrespect and discouragement from our relationships with our spouses. Help us put their needs before our own and love them more than we love ourselves. Help us to choose well each and every day and I thank you for your grace for everytime we screw up. Bless each of the women listening today. I pray all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen