Delegation for a Happier Motherhood
Do you ever feel like your chores as a mother are unending? There is always dishes to do, laundry to wash, fold and put away, counters to wipe, floors to mop, carpets to vacuum. Then let’s add on school paperwork or planning if you are a homeschool mom, booking dentist appointments, returning library books, preparing for the Sunday school lesson, etc etc etc.
A recent survey I took revealed that moms feel more overwhelmed today than ever before in history. And the worst part of that is the rest of your family feels your overwhelm. They feel the stress. They feel the tension.
As mothers we are the keepers of the home. Sure we may be helping to provide as well but the him is our main domain. We set the tone for the family. Our husbands rely on us for a well run house, this does not mean they don’t help but it is just something naturally within us that the home is where we thrive. We are much better at multi tasking and overall observing what makes a household run smoothly and being able to get everything lined up so it does just that….until it doesn’t.
There are several reasons for this.
Working outside of the home.
Other responsibilities outside of the home, which can range from caring for an ailing parent to running a ministry.
Exodus 18 13-18 is a place in the Bible that can help us with this. Moses was doing everything for the people and getting worn out. Yes, the context is different but I believe there is much to be gleaned from the wise wisdom of his father-in-law.
What are you actually accomplishing here?
This was true for me so maybe it resonates with you. I wanted to keep my home nice, I knew how to do everything, where everything went. If someone else did it I would just end up redoing it. I was the one who could do it right. But guess where doing it right got me? Not a very nice wife and mama to be around. Muttering under my breath when the laundry was put in the wrong place or I couldn’t find the potato peeler. Sighing when the soap dispenser wasn’t put back together and the soap spilled all over the bathroom counter.
This verse not only helped me with my mindset – more on that another day. But made me really think and ponder “what am I really accomplishing?” A prideful heart, a superior attitude, and a stressed-out overwhelmed mom who complained that I just couldn’t do it all!
Well, I learned then and there that I do not have to do it all. God doesn’t want me to do it all and that our family is a team. Just as we as Christ-followers are all a part of a body with different responsibilities, the same can be said for our family units.
Will everything be done the exact way you want it? Maybe not but done and not perfect is better than done perfectly with an overwhelmed mom.
And the best part is we can create systems and times of training to help it be done more perfectly each time the task is performed!
So how do we practically implement this in our homes?
I suggest writing out a list of all the things you do regularly, all the things your husband does, all the things your kids do and all the things that need to be done for the house to run smoothly.
From there make a list of responsibilities that can easily be done by your kids, a list of things that can easily be done by your kids with some training, and a list of things your husband can do.
Often just seeing it out all on paper gives you as a family a real look at how much often falls on the lady of the house, and the rest of the family is eager to help if that means more fun mom and less responsible mom!
Now we can even go beyond the immediate family and outsource where finances allow. Now I know financially this may not always be doable but think about what outsourcing just one day a month of cleaning could mean. Can you adjust the budget to make that happen? Eat out less? Cut some subscriptions? Buy at the thrift store instead of brand new?
Don’t forget the modern conveniences that we have access to. Click and collect for groceries, cleaning supplies, paper goods, etc, meal prep and delivery services,
What about hiring some neighborhood kids who want to earn a little extra to fold laundry or cut the grass? This can be an inexpensive way to deal with some of the more monotonous tasks.
We know you can be supermom, we know you can do it all but what purpose is it serving? Your pride? Let go of the guilt and feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. It isn’t serving you or your family well at all. Your husband and kids want to see you happy. The it takes a village mentality has really been dropped with our generation. Ask for help from your mom or grandma. They love you and don’t want to see you stuck in overwhelm.
Communication is one of the biggest keys here. Accepting you need help, asking for it, delegating it and working on your mindset and enjoying the extra time and happiness you get back is worth it.
Could you start on that hobby you never seem to have time for? Use your creative genius to earn a part-time side income to support your family? Get to that Bible study you never seem to be able to make it to.
Time is our most precious asset and it is not renewable! So let me encourage you today delegate, outsource, ask for help and reap the benefits of a little more time and a lot more peace and joy.