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Foster/Adopt Our Journey

First Time Foster Mom Experience

03/15/2016

I am so excited to share this post with you today. I am officially a first time foster mom.

We recently had the joy of welcoming a sweet baby boy into our family. He is a tiny little guy, and has a very demanding feeding schedule, more so than an average healthy infant.  This is why I have been MIA around here for a while. Adjusting to a baby schedule again, especially with 2 preschoolers at home has been quite a difference!

motherhood blog

My house is a MESS! I am trying but I cannot get on top of everything.  I am hoping we can settle into our schedule a bit more, and order can be restored over here.  It’s driving me a bit crazy! I like to keep my home tidy, and being organized just makes me feel better.  Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times I drop what I am doing to just play and say screw the mess, but this is just wowza! Life with 3 littles I guess! The mess, and surviving on quick meals of scrambled eggs, and sandwiches is just the way it is right now, and that is OK!

I am so thankful to those who have supported our foster care journey so far.  Your kind words, and messages give me all the feels!!! After 2 baby girl placements didn’t end up coming home, I was feeling a little bit discouraged.

All this training, and preparation we had put in just seemed like it was going to waste.

My last post was on patience, and we ended up getting the call for our little guy the very next day, after I hit publish on that post.

It is amazing what can happen when we let go and let God. His timing is always perfect ,and His blessings, always rich.

Our boy, our sweet baby boy is here. I finally don’t feel like a fraud when I say I am a foster mama.  I am living the nitty gritty, real life, hard stuff. As I have mentioned in the past I can’t, and won’t reveal much.

I can say that the feeding schedule is very time consuming, and tiring.   I can say that the appointments, and visits are even more time consuming, and I feel like my life revolves around this baby eating, and driving him places.

I can say my whole family is in LOVE, with all the heart eyes!! I can also say that I have so, so, so much joy in my heart.  Unlike many of my friends, and maybe many of you, I LOVE the tiny baby stage.  The newborn sounds, the little grunts, the way a baby’s head smells (Some of you must agree on that one), the way that, that little life completely and totally relies on you for their survival.  I thrive on that.  It is a very large part of why I wanted to foster babies.  Heck I’m not a great sleeper anyways, so why not! There is just something so amazing about staring at that little face in the middle of the quiet night.  No one up but you, and the baby.  I didn’t know how I would feel doing this whole thing with someone else’s baby, but its just the same as if he was biologically mine.

I may not be his mother, but right now I am his mama, and he is my boy.  As I snuggle his tiny swaddled body in the still, and peace of the night, I reflect on what a true miracle he is.  What God has done.  Everything that had to go right, and that even had to go wrong for him to be in my arms.

He is a little gift.   A gift who is finally thriving, and smiling.  A gift who looks up at me like I am his be all, and end all.  A gift that is a tense, screaming baby but when snuggled up against me his fears, and discomforts melt away. This guys, is why I knew I was being called to be a foster mama.  All the hard stuff aside.  He is worth it, he may not be mine forever, but he is mine for now.  He is worth my tiredness, he is worth my busy schedule, he is worth my time,  he is worth my love, and he is worth having my heart ripped apart when he leaves.

I am involved in the reunification process, and am thankful that the agency is giving me a say in what I think is a good way to integrate him back home, and to help out his biological parents.  I am thankful that I can help be a role model to his mom.  Even though I want to keep him forever, I know they hurt that he is not with them, and if they can do what they need to do to get him back then its a win.  This is what I signed up for.

Yes our end goal is hoping to be able to adopt one of these precious lives, but in the mean time I am just thankful he is mine for now, and I can give him the best start possible.  There are many lessons to be learned in this journey, and I am just happy to be on it, learning as I go.

self care

If you have ever considered foster care, or are already in the throws of it, I would love to connect with you.  This community of people doing foster care is tight knit, and only we know what its like to go through.

Support is important, and I am so thankful to have met an amazing friend who I can text any time of the day ,and she is there for me to just listen, to give advice, or just to complain with me.  It’s a pretty awesome thing being a foster mama, I would love to help others do the same.  There is a great need for quality foster homes.  If you feel the call, I urge you to answer it.

new foster mom

 

 

  • Reply
    Ashley
    10/29/2017 at 1:29 am

    I am almost done with all my stuff for placement. I am nervous, but o so excited. I am ready to be that foster momma

  • Reply
    Keene
    11/22/2017 at 2:34 am

    Absolutely love this! Thank you ? We’ve done our classes & waiting on backgrounds to come back. I needed to here this. Some inspirational words. Thank you again ???

  • Reply
    Abby
    12/25/2017 at 2:25 am

    Holy Moly! I feel like I just read into my own thoughts. Lol Thank you! This was super encouraging and a sweet reminder. Our family was just placed with a 2 day old baby boy. He is sweet as sugar and we’re all in love. But I’m bracing…bracing for the tidal wave of crazy. Any advice or words of warnings? I’m a sponge! Thank you again, The Haggard Family are huge fans!

    • Reply
      Kait
      01/03/2018 at 3:32 am

      Hey Abby! Thanks so much for commenting! My biggest advice is love that little boy AND his family as much as you can. Give him everything, and support his mom. Prepare your heart for if he leaves. Well, that’s impossible actually so just buy lots of chocolate (or whatever your comfort food is) and cry with a friend. THANK YOU for fostering. The world needs more good foster parents! I am always here so please reach out!

  • Reply
    Christina
    01/22/2018 at 6:07 pm

    I became a foster mamma back in September and am about to say goodbye to my second precious little baby girl tomorrow…and to be honest, I am having a really hard time with this one! It was nice to read your sweet words and to be reminded about why I signed up to do this…to hopefully, one day, adopt a little one myself, and to share love on those God brings along until that time. It’s so easy to get swept up in all the daily “stuff” and forget. I hope things are going well for you and your family!

    • Reply
      Kait
      01/28/2018 at 5:20 am

      My heart is with you mama. The goodbyes are NEVER easy 🙁 I hope you are doing well this week.

  • Reply
    Milli
    02/24/2018 at 10:23 pm

    I just ran across this blog, so inspiring! I just sent my first foster placement to live with kin after having her for 6 months. She just had her first bday and we are sure missing her. I have a blog http://www.hardlyahousewife.com feel free to connect with me there or on Instagram! Good luck to you and God bless!

    • Reply
      Kait
      02/26/2018 at 2:18 am

      Praying for you in the hard time. The thing I have learned is that although it doesn’t ease the grief and loss of saying goodbye to a child you love so much…there will ALWAYS be another little love to help.

  • Reply
    Paige
    06/07/2018 at 3:13 am

    I am patiently ..well maybe not that patiently… Waiting for the call at 8a.m. tomorrow to say that our home is officially open for placements.. We are new parents all together and nervous as all get out and anxious and scared well all emotions! We are also hoping to adopt a child through foster care if that be the Lords plan but I just wanted to say thanks for your posts they are very encouraging and beautiful.

    • Reply
      Kait
      06/09/2018 at 3:26 am

      So exciting! I remember that exact feeling of anticipation and excitement! Thank you so much for leaving a comment I love connecting with new foster parents! You are doing such a good thing and your forever baby is out there somewhere! You will be in my prayers!

  • Reply
    Tawnee
    08/16/2018 at 2:45 am

    My husband and I have been foster parents since April of this year and got our first placement in the beginning of June. We have got a sweet little boy who was only a week and a couple days when he was placed with us. We are so attached. I am so thankful for him in our lives. I am so scared for a goodbye someday though.

    • Reply
      Kait
      08/21/2018 at 2:49 am

      I know it is hard to think of it and harder if it happens but I always tell myself, I helped them while I could for as long as I could. If their parents can reunify and change their situation then they deserve their little one back. I never would want a family to break up if it can be saved. I know it is hard because you hear the reasons why they are in foster care but I believe everyone deserves a second chance. It is good you are attached, that is exactly what he needs. Foster parenting is a very selfless thing. If he does go on you will get over it, it will be awful, messy, sad and terrifying but you will get through it. The thing with foster care is there will ALWAYS be another child that needs your help. Sending love. I know how hard it is.

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