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FAITH Foster/Adopt Life with a Baby Life with Kids Our Journey

A Letter to Our Rosie

08/02/2018
foster to adopt newborn

Rosie,

Well, baby girl we made it. Today marks 1 year since we brought you home at 3 days old. I met you at 34 hours old and fell in love instantly. I got to visit you twice a day and snuggle you and love on you until it was time to bring you home.

When the agency called about you, we were 6 weeks into caring for another little girl.  She required a lot of our time and energy. I hung up the phone and told them I would call them back after talking to daddy.  Daddy said no.  We had enough on our plates but deep down inside of me I knew you we had to say yes.

foster to adopt story

I’m sure this is something you will learn about me over the years. I act on intuition and I knew we had to say yes to you.  And am I ever glad I did.  Sometimes daddy gets frustrated with me and my impulsive decisions but I knew that you were an answer to prayer.  You were the child of our hearts that I knew was out there somewhere.  We were meant to be a family.

Your first 3 weeks you were so sleepy and quiet and easy.  That sure changed for the next 6 months of your life.  You were demanding, required all of our attention all of the time, and you barely ever slept. 20 min cat naps here and there and up 3 times a night.

We were exhausted but so in love and so happy.

As your personality started to emerge we fell more and more in love with you, but you still didn’t sleep.

Finally at 9 months old your naps started to become more regular and at 11.5 months you started sleeping through the night.

You are the light of our family’s lives. You are so very loved and so very cherished.

Your smile is the most beautiful sight, your giggles can bring me to tears with joy and the way you look at us with love has us all mesmerized.

You are the apple of daddy’s eye, he adores you and would do anything for you.  He happily carries you around with you facing the world and your one leg always moving.  Your smile takes over your face and your eyes turn into a little squint. You are treasured. When I say where’s daddy you instantly look for him and start waving at him.  You aren’t saying mama or dada yet but we know it’s coming soon.  You know who we are.

Your big sisters also adore you and you love them right back.  Lilia loves to carry you around and make sure all your needs are met.  Marissa makes sure you are always fed and never have a stinky bum.  Your sisters cannot wait till you are officially their baby sister forever. They love to take turns holding you and snuggling you and pushing you in the stroller. I can already tell you idolize them. You are a lucky girl to have sisters like them.

Me, well what can I say.  You are the answer to my prayer. You light up my world. You sometimes frustrate me with your constant need to be on me all the time. I hardly get anything done but I wouldn’t want it any other way.  I think it’s because of your broken past.  I just want to give you the world.  I baby you and you have me wrapped around your pinky finger.It’sts just you and me at home most days.  We are besties. You help make more of a mess for me to clean, you kept me awake for many many nights, you puked on me constantly, you pinch me in the arm all the time and you look at me like I’m your everything.

I love you so much.  Even though you are not officially my daughter yet that doesn’t mean anything.  You are my daughter in my heart.  If for some reason your adoption doesn’t go as planned and you have to leave us, I will be devestated.  I can’t even let myself think about the possibility even though it is a possibility. Forever isn’t official until those papers are signed. I will fight for you, I will advocated for you when everyone else just sees you as a name on a piece of paper.

 

I am sorry your birth mom couldn’t be who you need her to be. It breaks my heart that you cannot be with her and we are your second best.  Your birth father doesn’t want to know you and it makes me so angry but baby girl you will learn this world is not fair and ppl are flawed and are fighting battles that are hard to understand. But please rest in this you have a Heavenly father.  God will never leave you or forsake you.  God has plans to prosper you and give you a future. God loves you so much. 

Your story may have started in brokenness but in all of my power, I will not let that be your ending. We promise to give you the moon and the stars, we promise to love you unconditionally, we promise to answer all your questions honestly about your bith family, we promise to be there no matter what, we promise to laugh with you in the good times and cry with you in the hard times.  We promise to be your family forever. You are where you are meant to be. You will do amazing things, you will always be protected and loved and a part of this family. No matter what.  I will never stop fighting for your happiness, for your forever.  I will not let you slip thorough the cracks of the system. I will be your second mama but not replace your first mama. We will navigate this tricky journey together. You will always have me in your corner.  You are my priority along with your sisters and your daddy. You are our world.

So baby girl today is a big day.  You just turned 1 and today is 1 year since we brought you home. But bigger days are yet to come.  Your adoption, your first steps, your first words, your first friend, your first day of school, your first love, your first heartbreak, your first realizations that you didn’t grow in my womb, your first questions as an adoptee, your first wonderings about your birth family, and why they couldn’t be what you needed, your first emotions of anger and your tears about that, and hopefully your first moments of joy that you are ours forever.  Your first job, your first house, your first child. So many firsts ahead. So today as we celebrate your first year with much uncertainty and much anticipation, I thank you and I thank God.  I thank Him for bringing you to us. I thank him for giving us the missing piece to our family. I thank you for letting us be your parents. I thank your mom for bringing you into this world and bringing our family so much joy.

You are our daughter. You are loved. You are a child of God. You are cherished.  You will never be alone. You will live a beautiful life.

We love you Rosebud!

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