This. This is so important.
This past summer, I was able to have a little getaway with some of my besties, to celebrate the upcoming wedding of a dear friend. It was a fun, low key weekend filled with wine tours, yummy meals together, and girl chat. Lots of it.
As I sat down to dinner, at the one end of the table with all the moms, the talk obviously turned to our kids. Why wouldn’t it? We all love our kids like crazy, and miss them when being away. For some it was easier to be away then others, and for some it was hard. Including our friend who had to leave as soon as dinner was served, because baby girl wouldn’t stop crying and she just needed her mommy…mommy’s boobies that is.
No matter how helpful and good a daddy may be, thats one thing that just cannot be replaced. As she heard comments about “let her cry it out”, “daddy has to learn”, “she will be asleep by the time you get there, there’s no use leaving”, “just eat your dinner, what is 5 min difference going to make”. I could see the frustration and stress level rise in her eyes.
This mama was trying to have a night out, but her beautiful little girl just needed her desperately. No matter what any of us said, she knows her girl best and knew it was time to leave. She needed to get in her car, drive home and comfort her crying angel.
My most favourite piece of advice given to me, when I was a new mom, and I gladly share that with every new mom I encounter is this; You know your baby best, you know what your baby needs, no matter what everyone else’s advice is, go with your gut. It’s pretty cool the way God designed us like that. We are all uniquely different and so are our children. What works for one baby, might not work for another.
I think raising each other up, and encouraging other moms is the best thing we can do. Not tell them this worked for me, so it will work for your kid. That’s simply not the case. Being a mother, especially the first time around is hard enough as it is. That’s why the breaks and these mamas nights out are SO important.
However at the end of the day the most important thing is your children. So I encourage you to find the balance. Make sure you get your me time, but always know your priority. If you don’t take care of yourself, whether its eating right, exercising, or getting a little crazy with your girlfriends every now and then, it’s hard to be the best mom you can be to your children. That’s what they need, is the best version of their mom. If you find yourself in a rut, or hiding in the closet for some peace and quiet from your kids, get out of the house kid free. Go get a pedicure, meet up with a girlfriend for coffee, or a glass of wine. Go for a run, go shopping by yourself, go eat some double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. Whatever it may be. Just do it.
The kids will always need you, you might have to cut short your “me time” to get back to them, when they need your more urgently, but it’s so important that you give yourself that. You owe it to yourself you amazing mamas. It takes a village. Find those people that support you, and will help babysit and go have a mama’s night out or at least a mamas time out. Trust me you will thank me for it.